Jante Law SUCKS!!!!!!!!

by Taila McNeal-Krøyer
(Frederikshavn, Denmark)

I am a 39-year-old American who is married to a 48-year-old Dane. I have lived in Denmark for nearly three years now. Every culture is unique, and every culture has its positives and negatives. But the one problem I have noticed that is very unique to Scandinavia is that Scandinavians have problems admitting they have problems.

Collectivism is fine when it is applied to essential things connected to a functioning society (health care, equality at the work place, social safety net). But there is also a very deep-rooted belief that even though Scandinavians believe that equality is essential for a harmonious existence, individuality and failure are frowned upon, and they're not afraid to show it.

I wouldn't expect a foreigner, particularly if they came from the Anglo-sphere, to understand the depth of this hostility until they've lived here for some time. I definitely would not expect a foreigner, especially if they are non-western, to fully understand or appreciate the level of hostility Danes/Scandinavians feels towards outsiders. Danes in particular like to say that nobody's special, but inherently believe that they themselves ARE special.

I don't feel ANY sympathy for Danes who feel that Muslims are unreasonably hostile towards Danish society. I am am African-American, grew up entirely in a western culture, and even I can see that Danes have a lot of unspoken problems. The reason they're problems is mainly because they're unspoken. In an egalitarian society, things like racism, sexism, and class-ism are supposed to be kept to a minimum. But believe me, they're definitely not in practice. Both in Denmark and in the USA, my husband and I would be considered "poor", and the treatment of the poor is no different here than over there.

My mother grew up in the Jim Crow South, and America does have a history of virulent racism. But I never experienced REAL racism until I moved here!!!

And as a feminist, I think that the Scandinavian version of it has set the movement back at least 50 years. It is not a surprise that you would see violent reactionaries such as an Anders Breivik in Norway. The only thing that surprised me about that episode was that it didn't happen in Denmark first.

We're going to take the advice given on this posting, and move to a place where we feel more at home. It's likely going to be either my own home (the USA), Canada, or any of the English-speaking countries on the planet. When even people like my Danish-born and raised husband feel like they don't belong in the society, then that should be a wake-up call. But everyone is still asleep; what harm can be done when your eyes are closed?

Talia,

Sounds like you have a lot of hostility towards the citizens of Denmark and I can understand where you get your ideas from. What I do not understand is that you do not try to work with the Danes, talk with them about the Jante Law, about being different and standing up for your beliefs. I personally work alot in schools and talk with both teachers and students about the Jante Law, about what is wrong and right with Denmark and find that they are open to new ideas and agree with many of my points (not all, but many) and they too are working to become more like other countries. Just look at the fact that English is now becoming a mandatory language in all schools. Denmark is starting to realize that they are an international country and have to work with countries outside of just Scandinavia if they wish to survive. Students are starting to understand that they are competing with people who do feel that they are special or better and had better start trying to compete if they want to land the good jobs and stable careers.

Denmark is going through a transitional stage now and things will change. Being angry, ranting and just giving up is what many expats do and that is their choice, but it is just giving in to system.

I promise, you will find problems back in the states (my home too), Canada (have many friends there who are also ranting about their own set of problems) and any other country. It is not always greener on the other side of the fence. You are only going to being exchanging one set of problems for another.

Whatever you decide, do not believe that the color of your skin, your race or financial status is the cause of your problems. You can change perceptions by the way you look at your situation. The reason is something else, I do not know your situation well enough to say what it is, but I have been where you are. Broke, discriminated against and facing large obstacles, yet I never lost site of my goal and feel that I have created a somewhat good life for myself in Denmark and will continue to work towards improving it. Here and not back in the US, where most of my friends are struggling for jobs, can barely pay their bills and have a lot more problems than me.

Whatever you decide, best wishes to a better future.

Charlie